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humor The Onion 2026-09-11

MLB Adds Tragic Backstories to Baseballs to Make Foul Balls More Emotional

MLB is finally fixing the problem of fans feeling indifferent toward flying cowhide by giving every ball a heartbreaking tale of immigrant struggles and terminal illnesses. Because a strikeout isn't truly immersive unless you're weeping for the ball's lost dreams before it hits the catcher's mitt.

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