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Middle East Energy Shock Threatens Global Economy While Pescadero Surf Stays Head-High

Global markets are currently imploding over escalating Middle East conflicts and skyrocketing oil prices, yet local expats remain entirely unbothered. Sipping overpriced IPAs at the beach, residents agreed that a hundred-dollar barrel of crude is a small price to pay for offshore winds at Cerritos. After all, nobody cares about inflation when the rights are pumping and the taco truck is still running.

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