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humor The Onion 2026-09-08

Marlins Offer 10,000 Fans One Shared Bobblehead to Foster Communal Joy

In a display of cost-cutting brilliance, the Marlins are gifting 10,000 fans a single Sandy Alcantara bobblehead to share, expecting them to coordinate like a harmonious commune. Because nothing says 'star athlete appreciation' like a complex custody battle over a piece of painted plastic.

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