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The Onion
2026-09-04
Rockstar Games Panics As Fans Hack Access To GTA IX, The Hypercube Edition
Hackers have leaked a playable version of GTA IX, but it's totally unplayable since you need to fuse your brain with a 2096-era vibrating hypercube to understand the dialogue. Rockstar urges fans to wait seventy years, or just until they can afford a PlayStation 12.