Solana-based automated market maker Aquifer suffered a neat little $2.5 million wallet drain and immediately posted an on-chain ultimatum begging the cybercriminal to please, pretty please, return 80 percent of the loot. The deadline has already passed with absolute radio silence from the thief, which surprises precisely zero people with half a brain. Here in Todos Santos, we handle negotiations the old-fashioned way over warm mezcal, and trust me, crying on a public ledger won't get your stolen pesos back from a guy chilling in an undisclosed bunker.