A deeply distressed foreigner took to social media to throw a full toddler tantrum because Latin America had the absolute audacity to operate like a foreign country rather than an all-inclusive Ohio resort. They whined about local accents, Spanish-language music, and the terrifying concept that service workers do not exist solely to double as personal foot-rest valets. Back here in Baja, we read the complaint aloud over morning coffee while watching the overhead sets peel across the bay, wishing these crybabies would just book a flight back to Scottsdale.