Back to Humor Feed

This story has rotated off the live feed but the permalink stays available for sharing and search.

humor The Onion 2026-09-01

Activists Demand Calves Be Allowed To Hang Out With Their Fun, Chill Uncles

Animal rights groups are finally tackling the real issue: the tragic separation of calves from their cool uncles who teach them how to party. The industry is being slammed for depriving vulnerable youth of guidance on how to rub against electric fences and act like a total burnout.

Support Your Local Toad

The Pesky Toad is free and ad-light. If you find it useful, toss a few pesos in the tip jar to help keep the servers running and the satire flowing.

$

MXN · Minimum $10