humor
The Beaverton
2026-08-26
Dolly Parton finally achieves the impossible: World peace among baristas and conspiracy uncles
In a miracle only a rhinestone-encrusted saint could facilitate, the divide between artisanal oat-milk pourers and Facebook-meme-wielding uncles has vanished. Turns out, the only thing powerful enough to stop a culture war is the collective realization that we’d all be lost without Jolene.