As the U.S. slaps a crippling 50 percent tariff on all Canadian goods following total diplomatic collapse, local expats in Baja are facing their own devastating crisis: a shortage of oat milk at the Thursday organic market. While global supply chains fracture and North American economic integration officially dies, retired actuary Dave Miller insisted on paddling out anyway, noting that CAD/USD exchange rates matter far less than getting barreled at San Pedrito. Canada may be cutting off maple syrup exports, but the local taco stand still sells fish for forty pesos, rendering the entire geopolitical collapse strictly irrelevant.