The U.S. government has declassified yet another batch of mysterious files featuring slow-moving black-hot infrared blobs and eerie red lights dancing over mountain ridges. Analysts are scratching their heads over whether these unidentified anomalies are hyper-advanced tech or just celestial tourists avoiding air traffic control. Down here in Baja, we witness bright lights every single night—usually just phosphorescent plankton or a gringo trying to light a campfire in a hurricane—and none of us are about to stop waxing our boards to interview a weather balloon.