Crypto degens are flooding millions into 'AlphaPepe,' a brand new AI-powered meme coin presale featuring multi-tiered staking and automated risk-checking tools. The project is supposedly 82% toward its fundraising goal, proving that human gullibility outlives every bear market. Down on the Baja coast, we looked at the project's tokenomics roadmap and decided to invest our last remaining stablecoins into fresh limes and cheap tequila instead. At least the tequila gives you a guaranteed hangover rather than a rug pull wrapped in artificial intelligence.