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humor The Onion 2026-08-17

Attorney General Vows To Protect Nation From The Dangerous Influence Of The Law

Todd Blanche has bravely declared that the Department of Justice will no longer suffer from the pesky, irrational 'pro-law bias' that has plagued it for centuries. Finally, an Attorney General who realizes that pesky little rulebook is just an optional suggestion meant for people who aren't in charge.

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