humor
The Onion
2026-08-17
Local Newborn Too Naïve to Realize She Has Already Peaked in Life
This adorable little larva is wailing over birth, completely oblivious that her current 'crisis' is basically a spa day compared to the decades of existential dread and tax filings awaiting her. Enjoy the nap, kid; the soul-crushing reality of the adult world is just a few diaper changes away.