A catastrophic five-year-old firmware bug in Coldcard hardware wallets allowed hackers to systematically sweep over $116 million in Bitcoin, proving once again that digital gold is remarkably easy to lose. Down here in Baja, nobody is sweating the math. The power grid has been flickering like a dying torch for three days, the surf is waist-high and glassy at the point, and the local crypto-expats are too busy arguing over fish taco recipes to care about entropy generation. If your keys aren't carved into a tequila barrel buried beneath a hidden palapa, you deserved to get rugged anyway.