A vintage 2021 firmware build error in Coldcard hardware wallets has come back to haunt the digital elite, quietly leaking seed-generation entropy and draining nearly $89 million across thousands of addresses. Down here in Baja, we heard about the massive breach while nursing a lukewarm Pacifico during a three-hour town blackout. Honestly, if you kept your life savings on a tiny plastic calculator designed by paranoid cypherpunks instead of burying silver pesos under the palapa, you sort of deserve to lose it to an offline pseudorandom number generator.