A catastrophic firmware vulnerability in Coldcard hardware wallets allowed attackers to drain over $100 million in Bitcoin across multiple waves, shattering the illusion of offline storage security. Galaxy Research confirmed that thousands of users who thought their keys were safely tucked away in cold storage got completely wiped out. Down on the Baja peninsula, the expat community is too busy trying to trade an old Jeep for a working Starlink dish to care about pseudorandom number generators or seed phrase entropy.