A historic firmware vulnerability in Coinkite's Coldcard hardware wallets has allowed hackers to remotely brute-force seed phrases, bleeding out roughly $130 million in supposedly offline Bitcoin. Security experts are losing their minds over the collapse of air-gapped security myths. Meanwhile, down in the Baja desert, our preferred cold storage strategy remains burying a jar of silver pesos under the palapa and trusting the local stray dogs more than Canadian cryptographic code.