Solar-Powered Patio Mosquito Executioner 3000: Because Regular Death Isn't Eco-Friendly Enough
For a cool twelve hundred bucks, Amazon will ship this glowing monolith of plastic to your palapa so it can disintegrate local insects using concentrated sunlight and existential dread. It draws roughly as much power as a small aluminum smelter just to vaporize three midges while aggressively blinding your rescue iguanas. Naturally, every crypto-pastor and yoga macro-influencer in Todos Santos has three of them lining their crushed-shell pathways to signal ecological piety to the neighbors.