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humor Babylon Bee 2026-08-01

Candace Owens Declares Baby's Crawl a 'High-Level Assassination Technique'.

According to Candace Owens, a six-month-old baby's wobbly crawl across the kitchen floor is on par with the skills of an elite assassin. Clearly, her standards for 'elite' are as low as a baby's center of gravity.

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