Back to Humor Feed
humor The Onion 2026-07-31

Spider-Man Movie Promises Forklift Certification, No Kissing Unless Married

The new Spider-Man flick is here, and its premise is simple: it's a Spider-Man movie. Spidey gains the incredible power of being forklift-certified, and don't expect any lip-smacking unless Tom and Zendaya were secretly hitched. Luckily, there's no post-credits scene to endure.

Support Your Local Toad

The Pesky Toad is free and ad-light. If you find it useful, toss a few pesos in the tip jar to help keep the servers running and the satire flowing.

$

MXN · Minimum $10