humor
The Onion
2026-07-30
Minions Translator Slams Film Adaptation's Lack of Sex and Gore
The translator of the 'Minions' epic poem is deeply offended that the movie adaptation is 'sexless and bloodless.' Apparently, the original epic featured 'sex-crazed, war-mongering maniacs' – who knew? We're all clamoring for those Minions BDSM adventures.