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humor The Onion 2026-07-30

Meat Plant Wonders Why New Hire Has Facial Hair and Own Car

Young meatpacking employees are deeply disturbed by a coworker who is not only over 16 but also possesses facial hair and, gasp, drives himself to work. Apparently, aging past high school is a grave sign of life failure, especially if you're still slicing carcasses.

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