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humor The Onion 2026-07-29

Man's Life Goals Set By AI Lion in Tuxedo Flaunting a Blingy Watch.

Local 38-year-old Derek Ludlow has found his muse: a digitally generated lion with impeccable taste in accessories and a cigar habit. He's now inspired to launch a dry cleaning business, presumably to fund his own lion-esque lifestyle, and has cut off child support because, you know, 'winners only'.

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