humor
The Hard Times
2026-07-24
Metallica Hunts Down Bootlegger Who Sold Beavis His Iconic Shirt After 30 Years
After three decades of tireless searching, Metallica has finally sued the bootlegger responsible for Beavis's signature t-shirt, ensuring the integrity of their merchandise empire. The bootlegger laments the loss of his primary income stream, lamenting that Winger shirts simply don't move like they used to.