Back to Humor Feed
humor Duffel Blog 2026-07-20

Pentagon Scrubs Jesus' Teachings: "Too Much Mercy, Not Enough Smoting"

The Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has decided the New Testament is a bit too touchy-feely for warriors, ditching Jesus's radical ideas like 'love thy enemy' for more 'operationally useful' bits like 'slave management' and 'divinely sanctioned warfare.' Apparently, mercy just doesn't get the job done.

Support Your Local Toad

The Pesky Toad is free and ad-light. If you find it useful, toss a few pesos in the tip jar to help keep the servers running and the satire flowing.

$

MXN · Minimum $10