Commentator Vanishes Mid-Sentence; Family Declares Him Missing After 15 Seconds of Silence
In a shocking turn of events, a Dutch commentator's family has reported him missing after a mere 15 seconds of silence during a World Cup final broadcast. Apparently, the sheer quietude was so alarming that they feared he'd forgotten how to breathe or had been abducted by ICE, which, frankly, is more plausible than him voluntarily being quiet.