Forget eco-anxiety, this turtle has a plastic fetish and sees choking hazards as foreplay. He claims the ocean is teeming with open-minded sea creatures engaging in 'deep-sea orgies' and 'turtle trios,' particularly near the 'Geilapagoseilanden' (Horny-pagos Islands). Apparently, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' inspired his passion for breath play, and he eagerly awaits more experimental sexual encounters.