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humor Babylon Bee 2026-07-16

CDC Advises Diarrhea-Stricken To Stay Near Their Porcelain Thrones.

In a move that has absolutely no one surprised, the CDC has officially recommended that those suffering from explosive diarrhea due to a parasitic outbreak should remain within six feet of a toilet. Apparently, 'thinking outside the box' is now considered a severe health risk.

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