DefiLlama reports that April 2026 became the most-hacked month in crypto history, with over $600 million stolen across nearly 30 separate exploits, heavily driven by major infrastructure and bridge attacks on platforms like Drift Protocol and KelpDAO. Meanwhile, down here in Baja, the local transformer blew out again during a rogue afternoon heatwave, leaving the entire palapa bar in pitch darkness. Frankly, nobody at the beach cares about cross-chain verifier risks or North Korean state-sponsored hackers when the Pacifico is ice cold and the afternoon swell is holding at four feet.