Recent excavations at the sanctuary of Apollo in Gortyn unearthed a ritual deposit containing over 450 carefully buried mice [1.1.1]. While mainstream historians insist on viewing this as mere ancient symbolism related to Apollo Smintheus, open-minded theorists recognize it for what it truly is: definitive proof of an underground rodent-run syndicate orchestrating early Mediterranean affairs. Naturally, text-shy traditionalists are scrambling to cover up this furry conspiracy.